It’s no doubt that if there’s nothing but absolute misery with respect to your job situation (and I’m talking depressed, nothing else can make you happy. Even the things that normally make you happy don’t anymore), they will branch out to other important aspects of your life.
I put my own chequing account in the red (which I haven’t done since 2007) and left the bare minimum needed to pay the mortgage in our joint account.
For a not so frugal trip to Greece. And when I say not so frugal, we had something along the lines of a town car to pick us up from the airport to the hotel and vice versa. Normally, I would have done more research on my trips. I felt that this trip wasn’t very well researched. I may have just picked the first packaged deal I could find on Greece. All I could think about was how going away would help make me feel better and end all my problems.
And it did, but only temporarily. Not too long after I came back, did those feelings of dread slowly creep in again.
You know that wedding that just happened last year?
Truth be told, I only decided I wanted to get married was because I thought it would make me happy. For the record, I am not a “wedding person” to begin with.
During that time, I thought my life was pretty crap and nothing good was coming out it. I felt everyone else around me had it better or at least they were really good at pretending that their life was good. Despite being in good physical health, having loved ones, having a home- by first world standards- I seriously felt that my life sucked.
The word gratitude was definitely not in my vocabulary at the time.
So I thought having a wedding, planning a wedding would take my mind off of everything. I thought it would make me happy.
I think it did. For about 5 min.
There were numerous times, probably way too many to count, that I wanted to cancel the wedding. Despite putting all these large deposits down for the venue and catering, I simply did not want to go through with it.
Simply put, I didn’t give a “insert swear word here” about the consequences and the money we wouldn’t be able to get back.
I had actually drawn up a letter of resignation well before I had a job lined up.Without any plan whatsoever. I wanted to quit like I had quit so many jobs so many times before this. It was so much easier back then because I was living at home and didn’t have a wedding or a mortgage. Perhaps this was a responsibility wake-up call for me. Unless you’ve got a seriously hefty emergency fund/nest egg, you can’t always come and go as you please.
People say you should try to build up that buffer so you can leave when you need to. I couldn’t even do that. While I had the drive to get out of there, I was lacking the financial drive that could have gotten me out of there much sooner. Every additional hour I spent there was like being held against my will. The thought of that extra pay cheque each month didn’t appeal to me anymore. My mind wasn’t clear but only clouded with misery.
When it came to being responsible for my finances, I simply could not think straight anymore. The unthinkable was happening right in front of my eyes and I was helpless.
Aside from the automatic contributions for my RRSP and TFSA and my regular classes I taught, I wasn’t doing that much more. My income earning potential was slipping through my fingers. I barely hustled.
I had actually lost my desire to save more money and increase my net worth.
Around this time last year, I’d say was the breaking point, which at the same time became the turning point. I’m a lot happier now and more focused on my finances. I feel as if I can think more clearly now and am back to being focused on managing my money properly.
Have you ever lost that desire to save money and increase your net worth?