A January post is well overdue for me. Like many bloggers, I felt I had to recover from December which was absolutely nuts. It probably wasn’t the best time to take possession of our house, move in and try to organize everything in the house, but we chose a date in December. My full time and part time job made me go MIA for a bit, more than I wanted to from blogging. Rather than feeling refreshed and ready to start all over again with a New Year, I felt a winter blah. Correction I was feeling a blogging blah. I didn’t want to write and post for the sake of posting. To do anything well, you have to be in the mood. In the mindset. You have to want to do it.
So, here I am. The Bacon is Back.
Img source: http://elderholbrook.blogspot.ca/2011/05/may-force-be-with-you.html
So last month along with officially getting approved for a mortgage, we opened a joint account together from which the mortgage payment would be taken from. For someone having separate finances for so long, the thought of sharing finances and sharing expenses was terrifying. Even more so than moving in together. I was afraid and still am a bit of losing my “findependence” that I had worked so hard to achieve. This “findependnce” was what enabled to me to save a significant amount to put a down payment on a house although I have not steadily worked full-time since graduating university almost 6 years ago.
This joint account is dedicated to most things joint: mortgage, home insurance, bills for the house, home insurance and in the future, home renos.
Why not put all your money in there, you ask. You live together. For Heaven’s sake, you own a house together. But I still have my own RRSP, TFSA account, ING direct savings account and two brokerage accounts where I purchase stocks and mutual funds. While I have been appointed the bookkeeper in the relationship and am in charge of keeping track of household expenses, I still enjoy keeping track of my other accounts.
I am realizing that I am ok with sharing money and expenses, as long as I have my own money and expenses as well.
My bf’s money all sits in a chequing account, which I’m sure is gaining next to nothing interest. I have tactfully suggested a separate high interest savings account, because I know getting him to open a TFSA account, let alone a brokerage account would be asking for too much. He sees it as too much work, too much of a hassle. Of course it is work. But as many of you fellow pf bloggers would agree, it is WORK WORTH DOING. I have this constant desire to learn about investing, making my money work for me. I know our savings would be so much more if he had the same thirst (or to be more accurate, obsession) for accumulation of wealth but I remember when my mom bugged me about investing. It took me a couple of years until I slowly started to listen to her. It wasn’t until only three years ago that it really hit home and I started to look at asset management.
Who knows? Maybe in a few years I’ll finally get through to him and we can join forces. But for now, I’ll settle with being findependent in investing stocks and mutual funds. And he can be findependent in the real estate sense, by sharing ownership of a rental property with his family. But come to think of it, by each doing our own findependence thing, we’ll be joining forces in the end anyway to reap the rewards our investments give us. Go figure. 🙂
Loving the yoda. Losing an amount of “findependence” is definitely a shock, but for me it’s been a really positive one. Mr. PoP and I are definitely counterweights to each other… without me, he might take riskier bets, and without him, I might play it too safe. So it works.
Good luck with the newly joint accounts – and the HOUSE!
I almost feel like I’m losing a bit of my identity and individuality. 😛
Thanks for the well wishes!
January hasn’t been my best blogging month, either. A lot of new changes going on. I’ve still been posting, but not as active as I’d like to be. Let’s blame it on Seasonal Depressive Disorder. :p
I’m with you on keeping finances separate for that reason. If I have my own goals and bf isn’t quite ready or on the same page, that way it doesn’t effect us as much in our relationship. I’m accountable to myself though there are obviously some shared finances we have.
Alright. Blaming it on SDD. 🙂 Good point. It wouldn’t make sense to have a big shared expense that you didn’t agree on.
Welcome back. I think that would be a scary move. For me it seems the best thing would be a joint account for shared expenses like rent or a mortgage, and joint goals (like a trip or wedding), but everything else I’d probably keep separate. Of course I’ve never even been close to being in that situation so what do I know!
Same here. We share daily expenses but I want my independence. I like thinking that I am staying in the relationship because I want to and not because I can’t afford other choices. Welcome back!
A shared account does seem practical for shared expenses and separate accounts for separate expenses, but I guess it all depends on the relationship.
We keep our financial things separate for now. When we get married we might merge some things, but we’ve both been independent for so long it would probably feel weird to have joint accounts.
I hear ya. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it!
Congrats on the house and love the Yoda reference. 🙂 My wife and I combined all of our finances, but definitely think that these things are largely personal in regards to your own specific situation. Added to that, combining finances does take some getting use to.
Thank you. I’ve always been an independent person when it came to finances, even while I was in previous relationships. One of them was a serious one but long distance for 5 years. Maybe that might have played a part in it. We lived together for a bit, but even when we did, we split almost everything.
Welcome back. Brian and I still keep the majority of our accounts separate so I don’t think it’s odd 🙂
Interesting! I appreciate your two cents. 🙂