Confession Time
Yes. You read right. I’ll repeat it again. I paid for my own engagement ring and most of the wedding. I figured it was about time I brought it out in the open. I was also the one who did the so-called “proposal”. No down on one knee, flowers, candlelight or anything like that. Just a message via my Blackberry (yes, I am one of those people) to his smartphone.
How’s that for a little bit of romance?
I ended up finding a ring I liked online and paid for it using my own credit card. He’ll eventually pay me back for it. He really wants to, but it doesn’t really matter to me at this point. I had contemplated about selling it afterwards, but I really do like it and the fact that it looks really unique compared to the majority of engagement rings made me decide to keep it.
Although since I am the one who asked him to marry me, should I have purchased a ring for him instead?
Deciding to get “engaged” (which I guess means wearing a ring and telling people you are going to get married) and getting married in less than a year may seem quite financially daunting to some. If you are planning a large, elaborate wedding and don’t have the resources to do so, then yes. If you are doing it on a smaller scale, then no. When you think about it though, as far I know, not that many people save up for a wedding UNTIL they get engaged. The time you’re engaged is really the time you’re saving for the wedding, right?
My wedding dress and his pants were longer than these guys’
My Wedding Fund Sources
So where did this extra money of mine come from? It didn’t come from the lottery, my parents, a big promotion or an inheritance. It actually came from my previous job. From what I remember, I ended up receiving a payout, a long overdue raise and some backpay that was related to the long overdue raise. So lots of money there.
As far as traditions go when it comes to marriage, I’m somewhat non-conventional. I know the guy is “supposed” to but I’m the one who asked him out on a date. My husband points out that he was the one who did ask to move in together and buy a house, so he gets the win for that round.
Pay What You Can, but At Least Pay Something
Although my husband has been working longer steadily, has never been unemployed and makes significantly more than I do, I have more money stashed away in the bank. Hence, on top of all that money I received from my previous job, I had extra money to spare. Call me pragmatic, but it made perfect sense to me to have that money go toward the wedding fund. I felt that again, since I was the one who asked him to get married, I should try to pay for the majority of the wedding. Of course, that doesn’t make me think any less of him. Who paid for what and who paid what amount wasn’t really a big deal to me either.
So couples who are thinking about getting married, it really shouldn’t matter who buys what or who pays for what in the wedding. In this day and age, people are getting married later in life (including yours truly), which means that they may have their own assets and savings already (at least, I would hope so). The majority of couples are dual income anyway before they get married. If someone can contribute more for whatever reason and it means that you guys won’t have to go into wedding debt, then do it.
He paid for most of our (small) wedding, I paid for the big honeymoon (which cost about 5x more).
Right on. I think we’ll both end up paying for our big honeymoon wherever that may be.
I enjoy reading unconventional stories like yours! When we decided to get married, I think we were both in our pjs, watching The Walking Dead on TV. We went shopping for our rings together, and we each bought our own. My fiancé is an undergrad student, so we’re on a single income until he graduates. This means I’ll do most of the savings, but it’s not an issue. We already consider money an ”us” thing. It really doesn’t matter who pays for what, we’re a team!
Lol. I LOVE that. That sounds like something I would do too, but with a different TV show. 🙂 My husband bought his ring online and it was only a couple of hundred bucks, but still decent quality.
We paid for our wedding ourselves. I was 40 and hubby was 42. We had been living together for a couple of years; we both had good jobs at the time. We were renting from friends so that was super cheap. Our parents were in their 70’s so it didn’t even cross our minds to ask for any help. We had a small (about 150 family and friends) put inexpensive wedding (less than $8,000).
Good for you guys! 🙂
Wow you are a one brave lady 🙂 did you want to get married but your beau didn’t or what? Why did you propose to him via Blackberry?
According to him, he says he was thinking about it, but I think guys in general tend to be quite slow with this process. I was bored at my previous work one day and decided to ask him just for the heck of it. Now that I think about it, I should have kept that conversation so I could show you guys. 🙂
That is really fun that your proposal was so unique, just a txt message. There was nothing wrong with getting yourself your own engagement ring though. This makes it easy to get exactly what you want, and not have him get you something that you don’t like or doesn’t fit. I would do the exact same thing in your shoes. Luckily though, my husband knew what sort of ring I wanted without me realizing he was going to propose.
Yeah. I wouldn’t want to wear something I didn’t like for the rest of my life. And I would feel bad for wanting to exchange it for something else if he went through all the trouble to find a ring. Jewellery is such a personal thing. Everyone has a different taste.
Such a different story, romantic in its own way. Engagements should be personal and fitting to the couple and it is so sweet how you work with your husband as a unit. Great story! Thanks for sharing!
Lovely story! I have a confession to make as well. I paid also my own engagement ring and most of the expenses for our wedding. It doesn’t matter and not a big deal to me anyway because eventually he also paid all of it. 🙂
Haha. That’s awesome!
I’m so glad I’m not the only one.. I figured since my man going to be the one dealing with a large part of the house buying in the near future, I can at least shoulder the finances for the ring. All of the large purchases shouldn’t be on him alone.
Yes, you are not the only one! I like your way of thinking. As generous as it seemed, I was appalled at the thought of my fiance (now husband) shelling out several thousands of dollar for something that I was paranoid about losing. That kind of money can be put to better use elsewhere.